Max, Alec, and Handcuffs
by Angry Lobster
Summary: Max and Alec find themselves in a very sticky situation.


Just something fun I thought up and jotted down. Hope you like it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel or any of its peeps. Though I'd like to.**

"Max, Alec, and HandcuffsMax, Alec, and Handcuffs"

"_Alec, you unlock these handcuffs before I unlock your head from your neck!_"

"It's your own fault!"

"My fault! _My fault!_ You're the one who insisted on showing me your stupid toy and insisted on cuffing me and then insisted on cuffing yourself. My fault my ass."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who managed to knock the key down and toilet, now am I?"

"Not my fault you can't take a punch without losing your feet."

"Well, Max, I'm not usually punched by people with such ridiculously long nails. How long since you cut those things? Five, six years?"

"Whatever, Alec, whatever. Just get these things off me. _Now_."

Max and Alec were sitting back to back on the floor of Max's apartment, connected at the wrist by a pair of furry, pink handcuffs. They'd been in that position for exactly 25 minutes. The key had been lost to the toilet for exactly 24 minutes, and was by that time lying somewhere at the bottom of the Pacific. Despite numerous attempts at breaking the handcuffs using their Manticore-endowed strength, the furry cuffs showed no sign of coming apart. And the clock kept ticking.

"Will you stop squirming so much, Max, this furry stuff is giving me a rash."

"I'm _just_ trying to break them apart. And a little help from you wouldn't be uncalled for."

"We tried that already, remember?"

"Yeah, well, I don't understand why I can't break these things. What the hell are they made out of, titanium alloy?"

"The guy said some kind of new elastic. Verrrry flexible." Alec flashed a mischievous grin.

"_ALEC!_"

"Alright, alright. The only thing I can think of is to maybe melt them off. Know anyone who with a soldering iron? Hey, I bet Logan has one."

"I am not going to Logan's wearing _these_ and connected to _you_."

"Wouldn't want to give loverboy the wrong idea, huh? Fine, we can just become Siamese twins for all I care. I've got all the time in the world."

"Damn it, Alec! Fine. But if we have to go Logan's, you're putting on a shirt."

"Now how am I supposed to put on a shirt, Max? Unless you can fit through a sleeve, it's not happening."

"Well why weren't you wearing a shirt when you waltzed into my apartment?"

"It's hot outside!"

"I am not going to Logan's like this if you're not wearing clothes!!"

"I'm wearing pants!"

* * *

After a very uncomfortable motorcycle ride, Max and Alec stood handcuffed outside the door to Logan's apartment. Max, dressed in her usual black outfit, looked very ruffled and angry. Alec looked amused. He wore a very wide-sleeved denim vest over top a pair of Bermuda shorts.

"So do you want to knock, or should I?" Alec asked, stifling a laugh.

Max shot him a death stare before pounding on the door with her fist. There were footsteps inside the apartment, and then the door opened slowly.

Logan smiled when he saw Max, but frowned slightly when he saw who had tagged along. Then he caught sight of the furry pink handcuffs that connected them.

"Ehem, can I help you two?"

"Interested in a threesome?" Alec blurted out before Max could stop him. She practically shoved her fist down his throat.

"Logan, it's not what it looks like."

"Uh huh," Logan eyed Max suspiciously, "then what is it?"

"It's this idiot's fault," Max said as she glared at Alec. "Could we please just use your soldering iron? I can't get these stupid handcuffs off."

"Um, go right ahead. That's what it's here for."

Since Max was very handy with a soldering iron, the handcuffs fell softly to the ground within five minutes. Alec cackled, and Max let out a sigh of relief.

"Alec, if you ever come near me again—

"Oh come on, Maxie. Don't you like spending quality time with your good buddy Alec?"

"Like hell! And now I'm late for work and Normal's going to kill me."

Max turned to Logan, who had been leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest. "I'll see you later at dinner." She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "As for you, Alec, you can drop off the face of the earth for all I care."

Logan waited for the door to slam behind Max before turning to Alec. "What the hell was that?"

"Don't worry about it, dude. That's one crazy chick you've got there," Alec taunted before exiting the apartment, two halves of a pair of furry handcuffs in his pocket.

Logan stood there for a few moments, feeling suddenly very alone. Then he walked over to his computer, sat down, and searched his databases for salesmen of furry pink handcuffs.


End file.
